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New ideas for Arbitron to woo young men

It’s well-known that Arbitron has a problem getting young men to participate in the diary-keeping process. That’s why they’re engaged in an ongoing effort to increase participation in this difficult demo.

One of their ideas, the online diary, is particularly loathsome since, in an ideal world, listeners would be encouraged to record their listening AS IT HAPPENS and not whenever they get back to their PC (as if recording of listening will ever take priority when you flip on a PC switch). This is equivalent to Arbitron authorizing lazy record-keeping. Naturallly, the People Meter will eventually solve this problem.

Here are some of the other ideas they’re working on, many of which have terrific potential:

– Diary to be replaced by videogame where players spray gunfire at radio shows on quarter-hour basis in photo-realistic 3-d world – Center of diary to contain “Miss Arbitron Spring 2005” – Dr. Ed Cohen to be replaced by Dr. Tara Reid – New People Meters will also function as TV remote controls – Use of term “quarter-hours” to be replaced by phrase “bottles of beer on the wall” – All diary placement calls will come from employee named “Obi-Wan” – Morning drive will be renamed “Pimp My Ride to Work” – Summer book will be referred to as “Swimsuit edition” – “Heavy TSL” will now be known as “Binge TSL” – New marketing campaign: “It takes a Big Johnson to fill out an Arbitron Diary”

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