03/11

The Shocking (Un)Reality of Radio

Shocking!

Some radio shows evidently use voice actors instead of authentic callers! The entertainment programs (and we are talking almost exclusively about entertainment programs, not talk shows) who use such techniques should be ashamed of themselves!

How dare they swap authenticity for entertainment!  Give me boring authenticity any day, that’s why I listen to the radio, to be bored out of my skull!

The rest of the world is real, why not the radio?

Next you’re going to tell me that supermodels are airbrushed, politicians tell half-truths, and the reality TV stars chatting over lunch are just going about their day when surrounded by a producer, two camera operators, an audio guy, and a Teamster with a boom.

Give us bland and authentic every time!  Otherwise we’ll have to wait weeks for someone genuinely crazy and entertaining like Charlie Sheen.

And while you’re at it, don’t tell me producers pre-interview guests on the Leno show, and promise me that the White House reporter doing the outdoor standup isn’t wearing a suit and tie on top and Bermuda shorts and flip-flops on the bottom.

Make sure that Donald Trump is picking his Apprentice without any help from the show’s producers, and don’t try and tell me that the winning plaintiff on Judge Judy is paid by the producers, not the defendant.

Next you will try to argue that Presidents get dogs because First Families always get dogs, not because winning a Presidential campaign is evidently easier than selecting a pet.

Assure me that Joan Rivers is naturally wrinkle-free and that the New York Times really does provide “all the news that’s fit to print.”

And when GE “brings good things to life,” I expect to be able to see all those good things myself, okay?

Promise me that Fox News is “fair and balanced” and that I will be cooler if I smoke your cigarettes and look younger if I use your cosmetics.

Because the rest of the world is so real, why not radio?

Now it’s time for me to watch my favorite TV comedy.

Listen to that audience laugh!

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